Trust — How we lost a humanity superpower through conditioning

Trust, should it be earned or given automatically?

This question is worthwhile to explore for self-development purposes and to understand its application from the perspective of others. This concept of trust has significant implications for us all in society, both at work and at home.

Why is it important to understand the implications of trust in society?

Trust has become a big deal in our society. Simply put, the majority would say that trust has been breached at some point by others. If we continue in this vein and reflect, we will see that the first person to breach our trust is almost guaranteed to have been one of our parents when we were a child. Understanding this is where it gets interesting.

Before we go any further, we first need to understand how trust has become applied through social and cultural conditioning. To do this, it is helpful to understand its meaning, because we often find that the meaning of words get frequently lost in translation, so to speak.

Let’s start with what the dictionary tells us about trust. The Cambridge dictionary defines trust as; to believe that someone is good and honest and will not harm you, or that something is safe and reliable.

We can see where the problems with trust began because some big words come up when looking at various dictionary definitions of the word trust. Words like confidence, ability, integrity and reliability are all repeated in the dictionary, placing lots on the shoulders of such a small word. All these words place conditions on our trust. Conditional trust has become commonplace in our society.

So, you might be saying; ‘well what’s the big deal? It’s ok to put conditions on trust’. Yet is it really? When you think about how you would like others to trust you, how do you feel about conditions?

Conditions are expectations, which are simply a desire to control the outcome. It would then seem that giving and withholding trust is a kind of game of control.

I have asked many people whether trust should be earned or given automatically. The response depends on whether it is given or received. So, we expect trust to be given to us implicitly. Yet, at the same time reserve the right to hold back from giving our trust to others.

The question I always ask at this point is; how can someone earn it without opportunity? Someone needs to start the process of trust first.

Who is going first in the trust stakes in your life?

Are you playing the trust game?

When you learn to let go of controlling the outcome and you choose to trust someone. Whether it be at work or home, you begin to tap into unconditional love. People make mistakes and often do not intend to breach our trust. Remember, the first person to breach your trust was your parents. Now you can begin to understand that you were taught to add conditions to trust. You can break these conditions at any time. The choice is yours. You can begin to trust by design instead of adding conditions by default.

I learned this valuable lesson and it is a beautiful one to learn. Imagine if the people around you began to trust you freely, without condition. How would that make you feel in life?

Would you feel more empowered at work if your employer trusted you implicitly? Would you feel more confident in your abilities, including learning from mistakes, if those around you trusted you, and gave you permission to try?

Recent findings I saw by Gallup on hybrid working, show that not only does a hybrid model create better efficiency, but employees are looking to be trusted and therefore empowered to make the right design on their own hybrid working arrangement. When this occurs employee engagement is the highest, whilst enforced return by an employer to work 5 days a week is the lowest.

Bringing trust back is about being the change you want to see in the world. Give it freely and watch it come back to you, but first, you must learn to trust in yourself. You are always enough.

As an adult, is it time to do the work to build trust from within and stop trying to control the outcomes of others? When we learn to trust without conditions, we create the opportunity for humanity to grow exponentially.

There are examples of trust without condition everywhere, showing us the way forward. Look into the eyes of your pet and you will see a beautiful example for yourself.

More trust equates to less stress. Let’s face it we all could do with less stress in the world. The choice is yours. Freedom to choose is your birthright, the rebuilding of trust in society empowers everyone to choose for themselves. Give your trust freely and empower others to choose for themselves.

Someone has to go first!

Imagine what tomorrow’s workforce could look like if trust was applied without conditions.